Kit the Klepto

(Kit is my mom)

Setting: We are sitting on the sofa flipping through a Southern Living, when Kit announces:

Kit: "Um, Mary Frances, I just found a spoon in my purse."

Me: "I'm sorry, did you just say a spoon?"

Kit: "Yes, and it's not mine."

(She is now reaching into her purse and taking out a spoon. And not just any spoon. It's one of those collectors spoons.)

Me: "Well, I don't know what's worse, that you found a spoon in your purse, or that it doesn't belong to you."

Kit: "Actually, I didn't just find it. I saw it in my purse when we were at Lovely Nails, and I didn't want to say anything. I was afraid you would make fun of me."

NOTE: (Lovely Nails will be an entirely different story. Needless to say, only in Breckenridge do you have to bring your own file, pumice and clippers to get a pedicure)

Me: "Oh, gosh no mom. I wouldn't dare make fun of you for having a random miniature Indian collectors spoon in your purse......THAT YOU DON'T OWN...AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT IT. I would NEVER make fun of you for that."

Kit: "Shut up."

Me: "Ok, seriously. Where did you get the spoon?"

Kit: "I DON'T KNOW!"

Me: "So let me get this straight. You have a miniature spoon in your purse. You have no idea who it belongs to or where it came from. I can't wait to tell dad!"

(Just about the time I say this, in walks dad.....)

Me: "Dad. Um yea, so mom stole a spoon."

Dad: "WHAT?!?!"

Me: "Yea, check it out. Mom "found" this spoon in her purse when we were getting our nails done. She has no idea where it came from. I think she's turning into a klepto."

(This must be where my youngest son gets it. He's been known to "borrow" stuff)

Kit:' Now wait just a minute. I did NOT steal this spoon. I think maybe someone put in in my purse."

Me: "Oh really...and who might THAT be?"

Kit: "I don't know. Maybe you. Maybe your dad. Maybe Meme."

Me:"Ohhhhh Meme. Right! Why didn't I think of that. My dead great-grandmother. It's all beginning to make sense now. Have you been drinking before noon again?"

Dad: "I've got it! I bet she stole it from the nail place. Maybe that's the spoon they use to scoop the shit they throw in the water."

(The SHIT my dad is referring to is salt scrub)

PAUSE. I'm now sitting here with my parents...who are about to move to Dallas...having a 'discussion' about a stolen/borrowed/missing/dead great-grandmother/nail place SPOON! Living through a week of construction back home isn't looking so bad.

Me: "Ok, forget the spoon. Ya'll are both nuts. I should put you in a home and take all your money. Let's go to Ernie's and eat some queso."

The above photo was taken at Ernie's. The origination of the spoon is still unknown. If you are the owner of a miniature Indian collectors spoon, please call my mother. It's still in her purse!